Just kids

The trials of parenthood are the last thoughts on the minds of those two young kids in the picture above. When this picture was taken, there was no way you could ever convince me this is where we would end up so many years later. As our lives became more intertwined so too did our dreams and an unconditional commitment to support each other developed. We adapted through new jobs, new schools, numerous moves, and commutes with the unwavering belief that the life we were building together created the feeling of home, no matter our physical surroundings. Even this, what I would consider, solid foundation did not prepare me for how our meaning to each other changes when you have kids. Even though we were used to working hard and making sacrifices, there’s still a little room in your life to be selfish before you have kids. after having kids you not only have to become immediately OK with giving up so much of the freedom you had come to enjoy but you are also the only person who can facilitate any freedom for your partner. So many of the elements that made up the best parts of your relationship get bumped further and further down the list as more life and death needs take precedence. There’s no way that those kids in the picture could’ve possibly imagined that however many years later, the very things that brought them together would be allotted next to no time. Another thing I didn’t expect to happen was how separate our spheres of existence became once we had kids, with myself taking charge of the homefront while my co-captain braves the rat race every day. Often we were like ships passing in the night, even developing different sleeping patterns to balance the demands of the day. Exhaustion has a remarkable way of shutting you down no matter how badly you wish you could start a new show or even find the time to do a Sudoku together. The unnatural disruption of our individual orbits of late has called into play those evolutionary strategies that helped us make it to this point and (not without lots of work and recalibration) we are seeing new pieces falling into place. One thing that drew us together was how many differences we had ranging from skills, experiences and beliefs and now we have our combined talents at our disposal to tackle whatever the day throws at us. I have noticed that we are at our best when we let each other take the lead when we feel the other might know better – and 99% of the time we both end up learning something. There’s a lot more to say about how the partnership works under these new terms. So far it feels good to see the products of the work we do together. As much as having kids has turned our life into something we could never imagine, they also remind us of such a vivid time in our lives that we cherish and hope to recapture in the memories of our boys. ❤️